The Last Moments

A Day thats too different,
A feeling of being used,
A tiredness and ill spent
time,so weary if true,

Im so crushed with the struggle
of everyday life,
Its all hushed by the drugs,
but it cuts like a knife.

So this point of decision,
Something not hard to ignore,
My weakness, my failure,
No one knocking my door.

So I count what I have,
Its more than enough,
To extinguish this light,
now that the going got rough.

I`ve a full glass to drink,
each handful I swallow,
The more that I sink.

When it`s all done and dusted,
and the deed has been done,
I`m not scared nor disgusted,
My emotions are numb.

So I turn out the light,
and lay my head down to rest,
I`m so sure its the right thing,
It`s all for the best.

And with serenity envelopes my soul evermore,
I just shut my eyes,
And I close every door.

But a remarkable and god given chance i am given,
I wake some days later.
The days I thought might be hidden,
First a blur but now opening, and the sun shining through,
the gaps in the curtain,
"Not my Time" was so true.

They all said Im lucky and I know god played a hand,
That i`m sitting, eyes wide open,
I then get up to stand.

I dont feel that whats happened,
worked out the `right way`
But I will never forget that crisp springtime felt day.

Yes I know I should have departed in sleep,
But god he just held me,
And my life i did keep

Ive learnt from this lesson,
that this task is not clean cut,
please excuse the expression,
But when the going gets tough,
Please dont give up.

However so painful,
a point you might get to,
Remember theres purpose and value,
And people who respect you

It may be more than you realise,
When you think,
It could be such very different rules applied,
Crying and Sobbing,
asking what was it they missed,
If only i could talk to them,
The issue would never exsist.

So please maybe hear me,when I tell you,
When you think your so, so lost,
and theres no one around,
Remember theres a cost,
You are loved in some way..
and the hearts you`ll be breaking of every that cared,
To the system, yes statistically, now be dead.

I write this tale in the hope i might bring,
a source of understanding,
That no matter how the so very tired in being.
and the end of pain, be it so demanding,

That there IS someone out there,
with a listening ear,
and you`ll start to find days not so tired,
no feeling of fear,
no more struggling through that maze.

If you ever wish to talk to me,
about the story that I`ve told,
please,
get in touch.
Ive all the time Ive been blessed
with in this world.  


(by Leona C Jones. Jan 4th 2015)